So tonight, I set a new world’s record for the fastest expulsion in any writer group on the face of this planet: Twenty minutes.

And it wasn’t over anything stupid. I just was dumb enough to challenge the status quo of the mainstream again–because…apparently, I’m not the only writer around here who has a thin skin.

So tonight’s little gem centered on selling your book for the miserable price of 99 cents (why authors do this, I’ll never know. I can never seem to get a straight answer out of people. Just the usual hypothetical clap trap about rankings and such that helps alleviate one’s self to a higher level of snobbery. (And if this post doesn’t get me banned from Word Press, I don’t know what will) and I posted a little comment about people’s obsession with rankings and such–asking why people focus solely on that instead of writing the damned book? (My exact words.)

So the same person felt it was her solemn duty to inform me that she thought what I posted was highly offensive and judgmental.

And it got me thinking: “How is it judgmental if it’s the truth?”

This coming from a writer’s group. One that professed to be open, supportive, and caring.

Yeah…fuck that!

If you’re so supportive  and caring, why don’t any of you dodo heads ever let people like me speak my mind?

Why must you keep me caged and penned in and not allowed free reign? What are you people so fucking afraid of? You think the world is going to explode the second someone challenges your precious status quo? You think your precious ranking on Amazon is going to fall five spots because someone made you think outside the friggin’ box for a change?

WHAT IS THE FUCKING POINT TO HAVING A WRITER’S SUPPORT GROUP IF NO ONE LETS YOU SPEAK YOUR GODDAMNED MIND???

My god! You’re talking about (and dealing with) a no-name author who will never ever make any money off his self-published books in the future! Someone who feels fucking alienated and neglected by the online community because very few people will take a precious second to talk to him, rather than snub him at ever turn.

The least you idiots can do is be tolerant and open-minded about opinions and statements backed up by both fact and reality.

Fact is, people are obsessed with Amazon rankings. Especially writers. They do whatever they can to stay on top–even if it means neglecting the very people they are trying to cozy up to. By shunning other people who would otherwise question the world around them, they are in effect divorcing themselves from the very world they are trying so hard to make a living in.

Just like the Republican Party and the Tea Party trying so hard to divorce themselves from fact and reality, these same writers and authors are just following the same mold which has pretty much put them out of touch with what matters the most: Which is writing a fucking novel!

If you’re so fucking worried about money and everything, maybe you people should’ve chosen a better career profession than one that is universally steeped in poverty and hopelessness.

Nobody I know has ever ever gotten rich selling their books for a goddamned dollar or less. Or given them away for free. No one.

I have seen too many authors labor endlessly over the futility of the whole exercise–snookered into the belief that if they give away their books for free or sell them for mere pennies on the dollar, that instant fame and fortune will follow.

Doesn’t happen that way.

The sad truth is, many of these same authors end up right back where they started–because they don’t understand how the system works. How it is rigged against them every step of the way.

But to go out of your way to silence and ban people for having a difference in opinion is beyond amoral. It gets harder and harder for me to find a writer’s support group that will go out of their way to support me and remind me why I write alone.

Why I am alienated from the online community.

Most of the groups I belong to on Facebook are pretty much dead and taken over by spammers who just constantly spam their book links over and over. There’s no real point in trying to connect with people who don’t want to spend time connecting with you online.

It’s the same wherever else I go. Either on Twitter, Yahoo!, Figment, Watt Pad, and yes…even here on Word Press.

People by and large just don’t have the time to connect with anyone. No matter what content you put on the internet. You could be posting the most wonderful chocolate cake recipe ever and 98% of visitors to your site will just ignore you for the sake of ignorance.

Like my Facebook page, I only reach about 15% of my target audience. On a good day, I’ll get maybe ten people to just talk to me. Other days…? Less than five. Sometimes two. But it’s never changed much for me. Why? Because of all the restrictions Facebook has instituted on its site.

It’s no longer user friendly anymore. As is the case with most of the social networking sites I’ve been on over the past fifteen years. It’s called control and conquer.

It’s a simple set up where a select few come in and take over everything and set the rules, so that by the time you come in, you’re pretty much fucked beyond words.

You can’t speak your mind without setting somebody off.

As tonight has demonstrated all too well, writers aren’t immune to that. But it’s funny that they are also the same ones who are supposedly more tolerant than most people. Unfortunately for me, it’s just another avenue that I’m no longer welcome in.

See, I’m not popular. So as far as numbers go, I’m going to have the least amount of visitors on anything I post. And dollars to doughnuts, most everyone reading this post will just simply either ignore it, call me all sorts of names (which are fun by the way), or just pass me by into the night–as usual.

Because I don’t rate very high on people’s lists these days. Even if I had a book out tomorrow, nothing would change.

I’d still be in the business of pissing people off. 

I don’t look at the world in the same way as everyone else. So my mode of thinking is going to be drastically different than the guy who is a total and obedient sheep to the mainstream and will gladly swallow the latest line of bullshit in order to be widely accepted by his or her peers.

Black sheep like me don’t get very far. Odds are, we’ll be completely (and totally) eviscerated by the world around us–bitch-slapped like there’s no minata. Why? Because people with differences of opinion aren’t looked upon favorably in large groups.

Like lemmings, we’re all either going to go over the cliff together or not at all. But the world is not set up efficiently for people of differentiating opinions to function as a completely different collective. See, in this world, everyone follows a preset directive.

Someone in Tulsa farts, then everyone else within a ten-square mile radius will be pulling apart their butt cheeks and doing the same damned thing and really stinking up the place.

But if someone doesn’t? Upper management gets pissed and decides to drag out a can of heavy-duty Whoop Ass and the whole group feels the sting of punishment; thus…blaming the little guy (namely me) for not going along and stirring up a shit storm in our wake.

It’s the same with writer groups: Everyone’s on the same page and if someone isn’t? Well, that guy is morally fucked. There’s no help coming his way. Not for all the bottles of Bayer-Aspirin in the world at any rate.

Such a mentality would usually leave me in a quandary of sorts. But under current circumstances, I can’t say that I’m surprised by the level of hostility still being exhibited by the writing world.

This is how things are. And as far as fools go, I just can’t believe that I’m still dumb enough to try and change people’s minds, or modes of thinking–especially by those types who refuse to think outside the box.

But it’s okay. My opinions and such (as they are) aren’t wanted in this world of ours–given all my past experiences. I’m supposed to be the loyal soldier for the cause and not question authority one iota.

Heh.

As much as I would love to entertain that silly notion, it’s not going to happen. My whole life–up to this point–was made to question things. Question people. Question the world.

And I’m not going to stop doing that–no matter how much it annoys you.

So feel free to live in your own little protective bubble of dis-reality fellow writers. But beware of the guy coming around the corner with a large industrial-sized pin.

Because I’m going to be the one popping it.

Let me share with you some personal back story of little ol’ me: I grew up in an impoverished family, okay? Poverty is all I’ve known. As such, I’ve never known wealth or opulence. But I know how to budget with very little money. And I can do that pretty damned well.

Growing up as a kid, I didn’t have that many opportunities afforded to me. People by and large didn’t think much of me. I mean, who would? Someone born premature, born with cerebral palsy, neurological problems, and what have you? Would you really give that much thought to someone like that–if you ever were to cross paths with them?

Think about it.

Most people that I knew back then didn’t understand how to deal with disabled children. We were something of an enigma as much as we were an anomaly. We weren’t treated very well, and most of the time, we were pretty much largely misunderstood.

Even in the 1980s, kids like me didn’t have much choice in the life we led. We were either wards of the state or we were institutionalized at an early age–against our will. Or our parents gave up their rights to their kids because they lacked money, resources, and the understanding on how to deal with a disabled child.

Back then, it was a logistical nightmare. There’s no way to spell out how difficult life was for people like me.

Somehow, I managed to muddle on through it–even though my life wasn’t grand or glorious, or offered that many opportunities upon which to improve myself. The most we could ever hope for is to shoot snake-eyes and hope that we hit a lucky number on the roulette wheel in return.

But nine times out of ten, fate was against us every step of the way. In my case, I had very little opportunity for advancement. To better myself. Not because I didn’t want to, but because people who were in control of my situation had decided well in advance that I wasn’t worthy of such an accolade–only because they didn’t see any self-worth in what I was, or what I was doing at the time.

So whenever I started on a pet project of mine, or something that gave me focus, many a times over did people tell me to “give it up” or to simply abandon what I was doing and shelve it because there would be nobody there to acknowledge my accomplishments.

Because I was told that nobody cared. And when you tell a developmentally-challenged child or teenager that “nobody cares” about what you’re doing, it has a huge impact on what they do later on as the individual. It greatly damages their sense of self-worth and also creates the distinct impression that anything you or they do in the near future will be met with the same fate.

So imagine my surprise when people tell me I should just “give up” my dreams of ever getting published because “nobody will read my books”.

It’s the same mechanism which had been lorded over me in years past–because like people before me–these same parties see absolutely no worth in what I am doing as a person. As a writer.

Like I’ve pointed out many times in the past, I do the things I do because I want to do these things. I am driven. I am obsessed.

Deeply obsessed in some cases. My love for books? My love for writing? It all got started at an early age because I was obsessed with the idea of becoming a writer and wanting to get published.

This has nothing to do with following the crowd and wanting my fifteen minutes of fame. I pretty much gave up on the silly dream years ago when I finally realized that nothing I wrote would really matter in the eyes of the mainstream.

What drives me to write my books is–as one person pointed out on my blog yesterday–is my creativity. My imagination. It can’t be contained. It can’t be suppressed. No matter if the whole world hates my guts, if everyone hates my writing with a passion, I just can’t stop writing.

I have to keep going. I have to keep dreaming about what’s over that horizon.

When it comes to writing for an audience, it’s something that I’ve never given much thought over. I mean, seriously! Why do I need to expend all that unnecessary energy worrying about what other people (complete and total strangers) want in a novel–when I should be rightfully focused on what I should be writing instead?

I should instead tie all of my energies into my writing, rather than people. If there is a target audience out there, I’m completely blind to it. I really am. I don’t know who they are. Nor do I care.

What matters to me in the here and now is my books. I need to focus 100% of my energies into them. Not people who I don’t know and don’t care about at this point in time. It just serves as a distraction to the overall project.

And no, I don’t think what I’ve been doing for 25 years as a writer is a waste of time. It’s helped me in more ways than any holistic therapy session could possibly give me. It’s helped provide me with focus and a goal.

It’s more than what most disabled kids in my situation would be given. I’ve met and seen a lot of kids in my situation without a goal in life, without something to give them focus on–because no one was there to help them along.

I was fortunate to have a few people who stuck by me through the troubled times. But to the rest of you who only sought to keep me pinned, or tear me down, you pretty much failed in that regard.

I’m still here.

In the end, I don’t know what future my books will have for me. I don’t know if they will be successful or not. But the point of me being a writer is not to please you.

It’s to please me.

Why? Because in years past, I was denied the opportunity of someone telling me that what I was doing was worthwhile in their eyes. By people who didn’t see me as worthy.

So I have to prove myself. And the only way–as I see it—that I can do this is by doing things for myself first and foremost.

As such, my books are for my own personal enjoyment. Nobody else’s. The only reason why I am writing, wanting to publish, is because I want to share my creative passions with people. To show them that, yes, I can do the very things that I was told many times over that I couldn’t.

This is why I can write 500,000 word novels and you can’t. This is why I can multitask on so many projects and you can’t. This is why I can go beyond the comfort zones of so many other commercially-published writers and you can’t.

Because I have no limits.

So long as my imagination (and my dreams) keep churning out new books, I’ll never stop writing. I’ll never give up on my dreams of becoming self-published. 

No matter what people say or do. It’s something that will never, ever stop with me.

And yes…I have ADD among other things. ^_^

Since late January 2013, I’ve been working on a new fantasy novel called Codename: Velocity. This crazy book of mine is the by-product of a dream I had which spurred the creation of this novel. Like some of my other books, my dreams have been the catalyst for my writing as of late.

Last night, I was dreaming about the zombie apocalypse and trying to seal the mall doors with Philadelphia cream cheese. (Don’t ask!)

This latest book of mine–which is in the second draft stage–is based on such a dream. And the dream was pretty cool as it was strange. The backdrop was miles of empty roads and two girls that could move like lightning–quicker than thought. I was either part of the dream, or simply the observer. But like some of my dreams, this one felt pretty damned real to me.

So I started to write about what I saw. But the trouble is, is that this dream was in fragments, so the book–the first draft–was written along the same lines.

The second draft came about as a result of the first draft’s premature demise. But all is well: It gave me enough of a platform to begin writing the second draft in a more fuller concept. A lot of unresolved issues were fixed in this second draft and things have been humming along.

So far.

But like all things, I’ve hit a roadblock with my writing–which started about 2 weeks ago, and only ended up with me dealing with another round of depression.

Nothing’s been derailed. I’m going exactly where the book is taking me. But progress has been slow as of late. I’ve only gotten so many chapters done on the book. I’m hoping things will resolve themselves shortly so that I can pick up where I left off.

In case anyone’s wondering, the picture in this blog post is a character representation of what Velocity might look like if she were a real person.

I haven’t been able to come up with one for Mari though. I’m still looking.

(It took me 4 hours to write this, so I hope everyone is appreciative of my efforts! Man, I’m bushed! lol)

The Starchild

Genre: Science-Fiction/Fantasy

Pages: 2,016

Release Date (trilogy): 

Broken Dreams (2014)

Rebirth (2016)

Revelations (2018)

Plot:

Set 10,000 years after the Fall of Man, humanity is once again facing destruction at the hands of the God of Insanity as the last surviving shard belonging to the Source of Chaos resurfaces–prompting the hasty resurrection of the legendary Starchild of Ancient Lore in order to meet this challenge head on.

But not everyone is happy with the idea of a teenage girl running around with the destructive power of the known universe in her hands. Some see her as a definitive threat to mankind and move against her; playing out a dangerous game of cat and mouse which involves both innocent and the guilty alike.

And if things aren’t bad enough, an ancient threat from the past reawakens just in time to take part in current events–quietly manipulating things from the side; in a bid to test the new Starchild of Ancient Lore and reclaim what was once lost: Setting things up for a final confrontation that will decide the fate of everyone involved.

Starchild Duel

Genre: Science Fiction/Fantasy

Pages: 2,107

Release Date (trilogy):

Sister’s Keeper (2017)

Counterpoint (2019)

To Brave The Storm (2021)

Plot:

Five years after the events of The Starchild, Isis McGowan is plagued by nightmares and bad dreams that are a premonition of things to come. While she’s trying to find answers, someone from the alternate universe arrives in search of the Starchild–looking to enlist her help in her fight against Nemesis.

If things weren’t sucky enough, ex-Praetorial Guard captain Rayna Hastings’ daughter manages to find Nemesis’s stasis chamber and through it, is reborn as Nemesis herself–bringing about death and destruction wherever she goes.

Both Isis and Talia McGowan are no match for Cara’s incredible power and for a time, things appear bleak–until a trip into the alternate universe reveals just how bad things are for everyone involved. It is there that Isis McGowan learns the terrible truth about herself and her counterpart and decides–after a titanic struggle of epic proportions–that the only chance she’ll have against her former childhood friend is to take their battle to the stars and beyond.

It is a decision that few take lightly, but in order to accomplish that, both Isis and Talia McGowan must do everything they can to subdue a very persistent Cara Hastings and bring about an end to this nightmare once and for all–while trying to keep Earth in one piece in the process.

The Price of Freedom

Genre: Science-Fiction/Fantasy

Pages: 2,014 (and counting)

Release Date (series):

The Kentucky Offensive (2015)

Nightmare in Nashville (2017)

The Devil’s Snare (2019)

Assault on Waco (2021)

The Arizona Republic (2023)

A Leap of Faith (2025)

Plot:

A generational war has humanity on the brink of extinction. Two people from both sides of the conflict band together in a herculean effort to end the conflict before more lives are lost and the planet is gone forever. Their mission is to travel back through time to the source of the conflict and stop it at its source–hoping to end a nightmare that most have shared for nearly 150 years.

But in order to get to their destination, both Kenneth Sparks and Kayla Sorenson must undertake a journey that has repercussions the world over–as they discover much about each other and about themselves as they travel the war-torn land of the former United States in a bid to collect the things needed for their mission to be successful.

Stories of the Dead Earth

Genre: Fantasy

Release Date (series):

Orphan (2014)

Siege (2016)

Jasper (2018)

Passion’s Blood (2020)

Hell’s Angels (2022)

* Titles for Books 6-10 will be forthcoming.

Plot:

King Richard the Infinite First and his armies of Hellion’s Gate are besieging the lands of the Dead Earth in a bid for control and universal domination. Cities and towns, provinces, and territories have fallen to his might–leaving death and destruction wherever they go.

The seaside city of Parliament is of no exception and it too succumbs as well–making an orphan out of one Princesss Jeanna Ulysses; who flees her home in a desperate bid of survival in order to avoid becoming King Richard’s next unwitting victim.

But things don’t go as planned and she ends up on the distance shores of a seaside community town of Xanix where she is taken in and befriended by the local doctor–whom rescued and sheltered her when her mecha crashed upon the town’s shores two years earlier.

However brief her respite is, Jeanna finds herself in the crossfire of another invasion from a neighboring province and it’s up to her and her new found allies to make an all or  nothing stand that will decide the day.

But even if she succeeds or fails, she still has a long journey ahead of her. A quest to end the tyranny of King Richard himself and bring peace back to the lands of this Dead Earth.

OTHER BOOKS ON TAP

The Princess of Renaar

Genre: Fantasy/Romance

Plot:

A Darzai princess from the planet of Pacifica decides to stow away aboard a cargo ship for a chance at some real romance with its captain–a man with whom she’s had some serious designs on since she was a little girl.

But trouble is not too far away as they are not only being pursued by elements of the Pacifican military, the Terran Empire, but also black market pirates–whose goals are to increase the numbers of their own profitable sex slave trade.

And a Darzai princess with an enhanced sex drive would bring untold wealth to the highest bidder in question–providing they can capture her first…

Lost Souls

Genre: Paranormal/Horror

A haunted house in Greenwood Mississippi provides the backdrop for this book as a detective tries to solve a batch of mysterious murders that have been plaguing this town for the past thirteen years. 

Only the truth will set everyone free, but it will take a brave soul to unravel the secrets of the house itself.

Firebirds

Genre: Fantasy

The battle for Primal Earth rages on as the shadow demons try to lay claim to the entire planet. The only thing that stands in their way is a group of teens who specialize in fighting them; calling themselves firebirds.

But their war may have damning consequences–as the past and the future collide into the present and things start to unravel even as the battle for control wages on.

Rogue Planet

Genre: Science-Fiction/Fantasy

Plot:

A miscalculated jump to Proxima Centauri lands one man in Earth’s distant past–where he finds himself alone and at the mercy of time itself. Hoping to find a way back, he enlists in the help of other races in a bid to return to the world he had left behind.

Naked Nutz

Genre: Fantasy

Plot:

An orphaned cat at a petting zoo is on a mission to find things all cute and shiny. But when she ends up at a no-kill shelter, she discovers that she’ll need an army of devoted followers to help her break out and return them all to the place known as Hairy Acres.

The Princess of Mars

Genre: Science-Fiction/Fantasy

Plot:

An Egyptian archaeological discovery on Mars may end up answering a long-held mystery that has plagued Earth’s scientists for the past two thousand years.

Lead Me Into Temptation

Genre: Paranormal/Romance

Plot:

An out of work auto-mechanic finds himself caught in the middle of a war between the demon and vampire world; where his apartment complex turns out to be a portal to both.

Both sides have a vested interest in the man and it’s only appropriate that he be given what he most desires. But the question is whether or not he’ll accept what’s being handed to him, or which side he’ll have to eventually choose.

The White Hamster Chronicles

Genre: Fantasy/Romance

Plot:

Humanity as we know it has been enslaved by the overpowering might of the Hamster. Three centuries later, some elements of humanity are still engaged in a full-scale war to take back the planet from their furry overlords and masters.

But events have been set into motion where factions of Hamster are starting to see things differently and who should have ultimate control of the planet. And it’s only a matter of time before full scale Hamster war breaks out and their human slaves are caught in the middle.

Sticks and Stones

Genre: Paranormal/Horror

Plot:

After being bitten by an unknown species of bat, a girl is transformed into a terrible creature of terror as she hungers for human flesh; driven purely by instinct.

After a month-long reign of terror, she is captured and contained in a large crypt–where she remains undisturbed for centuries–until someone steals the one thing that is keeping her prisoner.

Free from bondage, the girl is befriended by a local priest’s son who is both puzzled and fascinated by her at the same time. But whatever spark of romance may be between them is short-lived, as the girl resumes her hunt for the missing item in question; killing only those who were in last possession of the trinket; until at last she finds what she is after all along..leaving her with both a gnawing question and a choice.

Bubbles Awash: A Panda Girl Story

Genre: Fantasy

Plot:

Set in the backdrop of 2030′s Chicago, a physics student invents a wand that can create bubbles in the space/time continuum. But the effects aren’t what she had hoped for and so she suspends her work until she has a better understanding the device in question.

But her decision is short-lived as a crime syndicate sweeps through the city and begins targeting the city’s cosplay superheroes in the process–killing them with the very technology that gave them their unique and wonderful gifts.

Having survived a brush with some of the syndicate’s “enforcers”, the girl in question decides to enter the superhero arena herself–dressed as her favorite cosplay creation (a panda)–and try to solve the city’s newest problems while keeping herself one step ahead of the syndicate itself.

Fifty Shades of Twilight

Genre: Parody

Plot: 

Attending a Twilight convention in Forks, a rich college student runs into a group of Twilight cosplayers who believe they are the reincarnation of some of the characters from Twilight. 

Thinking that they had found another group member to add to their roles, the guys (and one girl) in question agree to attend a private party at the college student’s place in Forks. But once they get there, they discover that the woman in question is more than what she appears to be: A sadist dominatrix.

And what she wants is to add a little more fun to her new found harem–providing of course, they are willing to play along.

Maid of Iron/Made To Rust: New World Orders

Genre: Fantasy

Plot:

A returning college student finds out that he has not only inherited his father’s house, but discovers that he has made an android maid.

Where she came from and what she was doing here is a mystery that only he can solve–providing he can stay one step ahead of government agents who want to contract the maid out for nefarious purposes.

Hot Summer Blues

Genre: Fantasy

A teenage girl is haunted by the ghost of a dead classmate and through him discovers what true love is like.

The Vampiress Hunter

Genre: Paranormal/Romance

Plot:

College student and night-time vampiress hunter, Marlena Eliza Kosonovitch, finds herself caught up in an age-old affair with a local detective whom has her tied to a local murder. But things get really crazy when an ancient threat pops up to terrorize 2038 San Francisco and it seems as though the vampiress hunter is the only one with the strength enough to stop its bloody rampage.

But doing so only leads to more questions about her past than she is really prepared to take on.

Zombie Nation: Outbreak Zero

Genre: Fantasy/ Horror

Plot:

A space-born virus sweeping through much of the civilized world has turned its dead victims into cannibals of unspeakable horrors. While Doctor Robert Jordan is working on a way to stem the onslaught and discover a cure, his daughter is having to deal with living life on her own at the mercies of her alcoholic mother and trying to stay out of trouble at school. (Not the fact that she was suspended for a week for nearly beating a kid to death because he made fun of her…?)

Oh, well. What’s a reclusive, anti-social ninja girl supposed to do? Get in trouble with the local authorities?

Natch.

 

Airwolf: A Prince Amongst Thieves

Genre: Science-Fiction/Romance

Plot:

Courier pilot Kina Anderson finds herself way over her head when she gets called upon to babysit an English prince half her age. But things get really messy when both she and the prince are the sudden target for an assassination plot designed to spark a war between England and the United States.

Between dodging both enemy and friendly fire throughout most of the book, Kina has to find a way to stop herself from jumping the handsome prince at every turn–even as she uses every trick she knows to keep them both alive and in one piece.